My name is Benjamin Simkins. I am an university student. I have just lost about two weeks worth of
writing work in a single (rather disgusting) moment.
I have been studying the effects
that blowing your nose and sneezing have on your body. What most people don’t realize is that you
use many, many muscles in your body when blowing your nose or sneezing. Muscles like your pectoralis major, external
oblique, internal oblique, rectus abdominus, and transverse abdominis.
Now this has
not yet been scientifically proven, but when one is often, consistently blowing
his noise or sneezing, he may in fact develop a fully defined rectus abdominus
(more commonly called a six pack). I
have a good friend to whom this has happened due to his numerous allergies all
year round.
Anyways I’ve
put my self off track. I was telling you how I lost most of my essay that I have
worked very hard on.
I was at my
desk typing up my final copy. I had my
nephew over for a couple of hours because I was babysitting him for my
sister. The baby was crying and so I
went and picked him up from his playpen.
I rocked him and he soon calmed down.
So, I sat back down at my computer with the child cradled in my
arm. Typing with one hand is much
slower, but I wanted to finish this essay so I could focus on some other
things.
That was
when the infant spit up everywhere. Just
like that, projectile vomit. He baptized
myself and my laptop in immense amounts of puke. I have taken on a whole new meaning to the
phrase ‘infant baptism’. Only my version
of the phrase is not pleasant at all.
So, I am
sorry Professor Miller, but my essay is going to be late. I do hope you will allow me an extension on my paper. I think that you will find it
interesting.
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